A Double Whammy of Reflections

I need to rediscover this blog thing. Too often I find myself 'blogging' in my head while I am in the shower, driving to or from work or I am laying in bed at night rehashing my day in my barely conscience mind. I have the desire, however, I just lack the discipline it takes to sit myself down at a computer and tap out my thoughts onto a white screen. But I am sure I have shared my blogging struggles before so I will spare you the whining.

One good thing of having a birthday in the beginning of the new year is not only have I had to think through the past year because of the start of a new year but I also get to think of the past year of my life and the changes I need to make. I get a double whammy of reflection in the start of the new year.

My motto for the day of my birth was, "It's my birthday and I am not going to do anything I don't want to do." Well that day has slipped through the hour glass and it is now January 13 which means, as I tell my kids, "Sometimes we have to do the things we don't want to do." I now have to put my hand to the plow, sow more seeds and harvest what grows in this next year of my life.

I have spiritual goals, to finish the one year Bible reading schedule I began two years ago, impact the maturity and growth of my kids by being able to humble myself and ask for their forgiveness when I have wronged them, go on a Making Peace With Your Past retreat and be able to move forward from what is holding me back, commit more scripture to memory, have a more sincere prayer life, and a few others I care to withhold between God and me.

I have personal goals of weight loss, exercise, work on my parenting skills, be a more compassionate wife and mother, employment skills growth, journal my thoughts, blog more, read more, watch less television, save more, spend less, get out of debt sooner, eat healthier and I am sure the list could go on. I should stop and write all of these down so that I don't forget what moving forward looks like to my sleep deprived mind at almost 2 am.

The bottom line is I want to change, I need to change some pretty important things in my life. I only go through this life cycle once, I only get one chance to raise my kids and shape their lives, one trip through this life to make memories to cherish so that at the end of my life I can look back and say, "I did my best." There will always be regrets, disappointments, and wishing I could change the decisions I made, after all I have them now and I am not even done living. I just don't want to throw this valuable time away on fancy whims and selfish desires.

I accept the challenge, cherish the opportunity and I brace myself for the ride of my life. With God at my side and His Word in my hands we embark together because, "With God all things are possible."